


Shattered Skies

by Sparkbreak



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Eventual Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Hurt/Comfort, Implied past Starscream/Megatron, M/M, Mental Anguish, Skyfire is a bit delusional, Starscream being Starscream, Starscream regrets everything, Trust Issues, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:55:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25316401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparkbreak/pseuds/Sparkbreak
Summary: G1 AU where the Autobots found and resurrected Skyfire first, and Starscream defects to the Autobots to be with him.Will be multi-chaptered! Will contain a lot of emotional turmoil and aspects of an unhealthy relationship and the work put into it to make it good again. Also Starscream has anxiety.
Relationships: Skyfire/Starscream (Transformers)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 63





	Shattered Skies

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this is my first fic in approximately eight years and I’m an anxiety-ridden mess over posting it! But as they say, the first step is the hardest, so posted it is! 
> 
> I apologize in advance for any spelling errors or grammatical awfulness. This fic is just a passion project of one of my favorite pairings and I’m not really gonna have time to re-read it to check for mistakes often! I’m also not a writing pro! 
> 
> This fic is a G1 AU and as such I changed a lot of things to suit the narrative. Designs are being borrowed from the IDW comics, as well as certain personality traits. Skyfire isn’t a timid pacifist, and Starscream is a mental mess at times like in the comics. Overall though, I hope it’s an enjoyable read! 
> 
> Also, feel free to follow me on twitter if you’d like to keep up with the progress of this fic, other fic ideas I’m planning, and just general Transformers content! https://twitter.com/Sparkbreak

Starscream could see him from miles away. A noble pillar of ivory glinting in the setting sun, contrasted brilliantly against the red plateau that was serving as their meeting spot. 

It still didn’t feel real. Even though he could see the living proof, his spark spun painfully fast in its chamber, as if the mech on his scanners was a glitch, a mirage in the desert heat. The file had stated Skyfire had been active in the Autobot ranks for five Earth months. Five, and he hadn’t even known.

He couldn’t push his engines any harder than he had been without risking injury, but every part of him was screaming with need.

He threw himself into his transformation sequence as soon as the plateau was below him, landing with none of the grace and flare he was infamous for. His knees buckled and he let himself fall. 

Before him, Skyfire stood concerned, moving as if to approach him, but stopping himself in uncertainty.

Starscream pushed himself to his pedes, optics locked with the shuttle’s, wide and searching. He could feel himself beginning to break. To unravel at the edges. Nothing felt real and yet it all felt too real at the same time. 

“It’s you? It’s really you?” He asked, voice uncharacteristically quiet. He reached a hand out as if to touch, to confirm. Skyfire’s optics were soft and full of emotion, a sea of endless calming blue, as they always had been. Starscream was drowning in them. In the intent they carried. As if to soothe his spark and make him lose himself. 

Skyfire moved forward, one long stride bringing them together quicker than Starscream anticipated. The shuttle enveloped him in those massive arms of his, pulling the seeker against him and holding him close. The embrace was nearly crushing in its intensity. And Starscream held onto him for dear life. Not even able to wrap his arms all the way around his old lover, clinging to his canopy, afraid he’d be ripped away again. 

The dam of emotions he’d been attempting to hold back broke in that moment, and he sobbed against Skyfire hard. It all still felt like a warped dream meant to torment him. To give Skyfire back to him only to wake up and realize none of it was real. Skyfire picked Starscream up gently, holding him eye level and closer still. He pushed their helms together, his own emotions clear in the tears streaming from his optics. 

They stayed like that for a few breems. Simply crying and clutching one another. A reunion Starscream never thought he’d have. 

He still didn’t know how Skyfire was alive. He was inwardly berating himself for not searching harder for him. For believing he was dead. He had given up on him, and yet all this time he was alive and trapped in the ice. Waiting. Alone. 

The Seeker looked into those blue optics again, searching. He was overcome with a guilt so intense it felt like it would tear him apart. “I’m so sorry.” 

Skyfire’s brow creased, concern clear on his handsome face. He looked wounded. More hurt than Starscream had ever seen him. 

It broke him. 

“I’m so sorry.” He began chanting it like a mantra, begging forgiveness, clinging to Skyfire’s neck as if afraid the mech was going to throw him away. Skyfire shushed him, a huge hand cupping his cheek, wiping away tears with his thumb. “Please don’t. This wasn’t your fault.” He assured him. That voice. That deep, sonorous voice. It cut through Starscream’s audials like a hot knife. He hadn’t heard that voice in so long that his memories of it didn’t seem real. Maybe they weren’t. Maybe this wasn’t. Maybe he was going to wake up any moment now. 

“Will you come with me?” Skyfire asked, his voice ripping Starscream from his haze.

Starscream simply stared at him, fear flashing in those usually confident ruby optics. He wasn’t stupid. Upon leaving the Nemesis he knew he’d likely never return. But there was still the option. No one knew he had left yet, and no one knew why. Maybe he could go back, maintain everything he’d worked so hard for…

Skyfire’s grip on him shifted the slightest bit, bringing him even closer, impossibly so. His optics were gentle but pleading, holding so much emotion it seemed as if it would all spill out. 

He had missed him so much. Missed this. Skyfire had been returned to him, by whatever merciful forces still existed in the universe, and he vowed to himself that he would never be apart from him again. Even if it meant throwing away everything he’d ever suffered for with the Decepticons. 

“You couldn’t force me not to.” Starscream finally responded, grip tightening. 

Skyfire saw the hesitation in his optics though. The uncertainty. The fear. He wasn’t a fool. He knew this situation was going to be difficult. The Autobots may be kind on the surface, but like any military there were rules put in place to deal with defectors. And Starscream was no footsoldier, nameless in rank. But he was determined to make it work. To figure something out. 

Starscream’s gaze was searching, longing, desperate for reassurance in that moment. He’d never looked so open and vulnerable before. It made the shuttle’s spark hurt, whirling painfully in its chamber. Skyfire pushed his head down, bringing their lips together in a desperate and hard kiss, trying his damnedest to force as much love and reassurance as possible through his field and into Starscream’s. He’d make this work. He had what he considered friends among the Autobots, mechs who knew he wouldn’t bring someone in for any nefarious reasons. And Optimus Prime...he was the pinnacle of understanding. He believed all mechs deserved a second chance, even Megatron. Surely he would see that Starscream could be reformed and even be a boon to their faction. 

Starscream still felt like his entire world was falling apart around him. Like his mind was breaking. His spark felt full and heavy at the same time, like it was going to shatter at any moment. He pushed into the kiss with all his strength, the familiarity of his lover’s lips and glossa grounding him as best they could. It, at least, felt right. Everything about Skyfire felt right. Felt like home. He’d never leave him again. Never. Never be away from him. If it was all a dream, he wanted it to last forever. Even if it did feel like he was dying.

He would languish away in the Autobots’ brig for the rest of the pit-spawned war if it meant being with Skyfire, seeing him safe. After all, there wasn’t really any other alternative in his mind. Skyfire would never make it among the Decepticons. Not because he was weak, quite the contrary, but because Megatron demanded ruthlessness from his soldiers. And Megatron didn’t think like Skyfire. Everything the Decepticons stood for currently, everything Megatron had done and was still doing, would be an affront to the soft-sparked scientist. Maybe if he’d been there when the war started...but no. Not now. Megatron had lost his way, and Skyfire wouldn’t stand for the murder of innocents, even if it was sometimes necessary, in Starscream’s mind. Even if they were just insignificant little organic vermin, killing their own in increasingly brutal ways every day anyways. 

His spark lurched at the thought of willingly walking into the base of enemies, some sort of traitor to his cause, as Megatron had always accused him of being. The Autobots were Functionist defenders and high-caste apologists, everything Starscream hated. Everything he’d sworn to purge from their species, for the betterment of Cybertron. He suddenly felt nauseous. If there was even a Cybertron to go back to and restore by the time this war ended. 

Skyfire hadn’t even seen Cybertron since the war began. More guilt washed over him. 

The kiss ended reluctantly, Skyfire instead peppering more small kisses all over Starscream’s tear-soaked face. “I need you to trust me, okay?” He murmured. Starscream didn’t look at him this time, picking a spot on the huge black treads near his shoulders instead. Trust him? He didn’t trust anyone anymore. But he had always trusted Skyfire. And unlike everyone else, war hadn’t changed Skyfire. He was still the same as he’d always been. 

“I...I don’t know what to do.” The seeker said. He was being painfully honest, and it didn’t suit him, in his opinion. Not anymore, at least. “They won’t want me in their ranks. They’ll probably try and execute me.” Skyfire’s grip tightened on him instinctively. “Do you have any idea what all I’ve done, Sky?” He looked back up at his lover then, and found concerned optics staring back. Innocent optics. 

He felt like a monster. 

Skyfire would never, could never, understand what he’d had to do during the war. The things that were necessary to try and right Cybertron’s corrupt societal infrastructure. He'd never understand how hard everything had been after he “died.” 

How would he ever try and justify all the things he’d done to a mech who wasn’t around to understand why he’d done it? 

“Starscream...things happen during war. All that matters now is that we get you onto the right side of it.” His voice was so sure. Something else in Starscream broke. The right side of it? 

He wanted to argue, to explain, but he couldn’t. Not right now. It didn’t matter, he told himself. All that mattered was that Skyfire was alive and here, with him. And that he’d never let him go again. The Autobots didn’t matter. The Decepticons didn’t matter. 

His trine. Panic gripped his spark like a vice. Did they matter? What would they think of him, upon learning that he’d abandoned them, abandoned their cause, for some mech who was supposed to be dead? They’d be furious and hurt. But again, he forced himself to believe it didn’t matter. They didn’t matter. They would never follow him to the Autobots, anyway. And they would certainly try and kill Skyfire in battle if it came to it. And what if it did come to that? Could he face and kill his trinemates to protect his lover? Could he face Megatron, from the opposite side of the battlefield, a proven traitor?

The world was spinning around him. It was all too much. 

“Starscream?” Skyfire sounded concerned, a hand suddenly behind his helm and trying to focus him. “Starscream, everything’s going to be okay. I promise you. I’m not going to let them execute you. And I’m not going to let them cage you, either.” He kissed him again. Long and slow. It didn’t feel the same as the first time. 

“I’ve known these mechs for months now, I can convince them you’re capable of change. They trust me.” 

Starscream furrowed his brow ridges and stared at the shuttle, confusion clear in his face. Change? Could he? Should he? For Skyfire, he’d have to. He knew that. And he would, he told himself. Even if it felt like a betrayal.

“I’ll change for you, Sky. To be with you. I can make them see that.” The words burned as they left his lips. His spark felt like it was going to drop into his fuel tank. What was he doing? He had to go through with this, and he knew it, but his mind was on fire with thoughts of doubt and regret. Why did this have to be so hard?

“Thank you, Star. You’ll be happier with the Autobots, I promise. We’re going to make this work.” So many promises. Starscream had plenty of experience with mechs making him promises. They never kept them.

But there was no doubt present in Skyfire’s voice, and Starscream knew it was probably just a facade to try and calm him down. Skyfire had always been good at that. Tempering his moods, bringing him down from the brink. It was something he’d missed since the shuttle’s supposed demise. His trinemates never were good at it, more like fuel to the fire that was his steadily declining sanity. And Megatron always knew just how to tip him over the edge. 

Not Skyfire, though. He was always an expert in his moods, and knew every tell he had. Ever loyal, ever soothing, always the calming voice he needed. 

They would make this work. 

Skyfire took his hand and squeezed it gently. His optics betrayed no other emotion than intense, never-ending love. “Trust me?” 

And reluctantly, Starscream realized he did. He just hoped that trust could be maintained. The promises kept. 

He kissed Skyfire, much more timidly than he’d kissed any of his recent partners, just to feel real. To verify once more that this was actually happening. He didn’t know whether he was relieved or upset when Skyfire kissed back, solidifying everything in undeniable reality.

With a resigned sigh, he at least told himself he could enjoy these few fleeting moments they had alone with another. Before the ensuing chaos. 

Before he knew he’d regret every decision he made leading up to this.


End file.
